HOHUMHAH
by shadeuki
Summary: lalalat!


I look EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.  
I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.  
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.  
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.  
**I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.**  
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.  
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.  
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.  
I'm an ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.  
**I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.**  
**I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.**  
I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.  
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.  
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.  
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.  
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.  
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.  
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.  
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.  
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.  
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.  
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.  
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.  
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.  
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a stuck up whore.  
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.  
I wear skirts a lot, so I MUST be a slut.  
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.  
**I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.**  
**I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.**  
**I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.**  
**I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.**  
**I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.**  
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.  
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.  
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.  
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.  
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.  
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.  
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a big peter.  
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.  
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.  
**I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.**  
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.  
**I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.**  
I'm INTO THEATER ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.  
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.  
**I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.**  
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.  
I HAVE BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a whore.  
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.  
**I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.**  
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool.  
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.  
I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.  
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.  
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.  
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.  
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.  
I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.  
I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.  
**I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.**  
**I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.**  
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.  
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.  
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have a small penis.  
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.  
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.  
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.  
I don't like the SUN, so I MUST be albino.  
**I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.**  
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.  
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.  
**I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.**  
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.  
**I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate gay people.**  
**I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.**

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.  
**I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.  
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over-controlling bitch.**  
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.  
**I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over-controlling and a bitch.**  
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.  
**I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.**  
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. so I MUST be a whore myself.  
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.  
I'm a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.  
I'm a CROSSDRESSER, so I Must be homosexual.  
**I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.  
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.**  
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.  
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.  
**I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.**  
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.  
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.  
**I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.  
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.**  
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.  
**I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.  
**I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.  
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.  
**I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.**  
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.  
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.  
I'm ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!  
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.  
**I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.**  
**I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.**  
**I'm not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.  
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippie.  
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so it MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.  
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.  
**I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.  
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.  
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.  
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blonde blue-eyed lesbian.  
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.  
**I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.  
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.  
**I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.  
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.  
**I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.  
**I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.  
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.  
**I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.**  
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.  
**I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.**  
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.  
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.  
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.  
**I'm STRONG so I MUST be stupid.**  
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.  
I go to REN-FAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.  
I'm GAY so I'm after EVERY straight guy around.  
**I don't want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.**  
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.  
I love marching bands, so I MUST be a friendless freak.  
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.  
**I HATE RAP music so I MUST not fit in.**  
I move around A LOT so I MUST not fit in anywhere.  
**I call my friends GOOD LOOKING so I MUST be Lesbian.**  
**I've NEVER been kissed so I MUST not be good enough.**  
I'm a GUY so I MUST want sex ALL THE TIME.  
**I'm a CHRISTIAN so I MUST not listen to GOOD MUSIC.**


End file.
